Nursing home, an enriching experience

As many of you already know, I have recently placed my Mother in a nursing home due to advanced Alzheimer’s disease. What first seemed like an act of coldness on my part has turned into one of the most enriching experiences of my life so far.
I would like to share my short story with everyone because I know so many out there are suffering from this disease and perhaps this will be of some help and comfort.


Mom was diagnosed about 5 or 6 years ago with the onset of Alzheimer’s disease. She was given Aricept and Namenda to hold back the progress of her illness. It seemed to work for a few years and changes were minimal. Then all of a sudden on Thanksgiving of 2008 after all the family left, things took a turn for the worst. This was her first time experiencing delusions.


We did not really understand what was happening until the following week when I took her to her doctor and he explained what happened. He filled me in on what to expect and within a few months Mom had declined so much that I started to get extra help to assist me in her care. By March 0f 2009 it was out of control and the extra help turned into hiring a full time caregiver so I could tend to my work.


It was convenient because I got to help mom and have time for myself.

A year later things started to take another turn down the long stairway. She experienced a “Grand Mal” seizure, which took her a few days to recover from. She never gained the use of her legs again.


It was at this point that we (the caregiver, dad and I) could no longer hold her up and help her move. She had become so heavy and stiff it was virtually impossible to pry her arms apart if she did not want to move them and the same went for her legs. Bathing and changing her diapers became a much-dreaded event as we fought off her aggressive gestures as we tried to keep her clean. One morning I was so exhausted from this that I just sat down on a chair in my bedroom and asked for Divine intervention. I did not know what else to do. Everything seemed to fail with her. I picked up the phone and called Catholic Hospice, who had been providing for her nursing care for a year now. I asked for a recommendation for a nursing home. A day later, they had arranged to transfer Mom to St. Anne’s, one of the best nursing homes in Dade County aside from “the Palace”.

It is here, in this nursing home, that I discovered a fragile world of “children” living in old wrinkled bodies.


As I stroll through the hallways filled with wheelchairs being driven by these “children”, I ask myself the question “how many of them have someone that cares for them?” There eyes are fixed on you as you walk by, just waiting to be acknowledged that they are there. A smile or a friendly “how are you feeling today?” makes their faces light up and helps them fill with joy, if only for a short while. They gather in bunches, those that are strong enough to wheel themselves, by the nurses station in order not to be alone in their room. Sometimes, there are so many that they line up on each side of the hall looking into some unknown world, but one that is very familiar to them. Their eyes are like fine crystal, their wrinkles soft and sweet. Sometimes their mouths are sunken in from lack of teeth. Their bodies are sometimes strong and others very frail. Each has their own torment they go through on a daily basis, repeating repeatedly. Nothing can stop them from these patterns, for their dementia takes each of them on their unique journey into a world unknown to us.


I have studied these faces and patterns from the first day I arrived at St. Anne’s and one thing I’ve learned so far is, no matter who they were before or what they did for a living, they are all God’s children on their final journey home. They are all unique and the same in many ways. They all respond to love and a kind look, a holding of a hand or even a song that is sung to them. These songs are their lullabies. For the most part, they respond to music very positively. There are activities provided by an activity coordinator who I will name “Rosalynn”, to protect her privacy. She is one of the most special people I have met so far. This woman is incredibly compassionate and dedicated to her “children”. Through games and special activities, she provides an enriching time for the “children”.

I have seen my mother have a dramatic change for the better, yes, for the better. My mother now participates in Music Wednesdays, will have music therapy once a month and is constantly stimulated by all that goes on around her. There’s even a chapel that holds a mass daily. Mascots roam the property and provide a little pet therapy.


Although it is sad to see their faces tired and wrinkled from life’s hardships, it is uplifting to see a group of people who care enough to make St. Anne’s Nursing Home a brighter place for their residents until their journeys have ended. This has been an enriching experience that I will hold dear forever. I find myself spending long hours here, participating in whatever I can to help put a smile and give warmth to whoever needs it, including MOM. This week I have been drafted to dance for them on Music Wednesdays. I am not forgetting my photography, I have just added to my resume, “pat-time entertainer”, LOL.


I hope this sends a positive message to any of you who might be hesitating to take this next step. While every situation is different, Alzheimer’s disease does not always give us the luxury of taking care of our parents to the end. Please know that it is all right to get help when you feel you can no longer carry the burden by yourself. I now can give my Mom a better quality of life and a better, more rested and happier me to spend time with. Catholic Hospice has been an incredible help and support throughout this process. They walked me through every step of this process.


If anyone has any questions about any of this, feel free to drop me a line. I would be glad to offer my support and help if I can.


Love to all,


GemS